Thorn in my flesh

“even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭7‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT, BUT STILL, YOU ARE…

We live in a fallen world, and unfortunately, we experience the consequences of sin in this world: pain, hurt, sickness, disease, and the many ways creation groans under the weight of the fall.

And for so long, I have been so focused on the throb in my flesh and on asking YOU, GOD, to remove it.

I have meditated on it so much, thought about it so often, and focused on it so completely that, somewhere along the way, I forgot to remember how YOU have sustained me.

But today, I am reminded.

YOU have heard me.

YOU have carried me.

YOU have loved me.

YOU have seen me.

Even in the moments when the pain was all I could see, YOU were still there.

And so, I thank YOU, GOD.

Because I remember a time in my life when all I saw was this thorn. All I knew was this thorn. All I thought about was this thorn.

It occupied my thoughts, consumed my attention, and became the lens through which I saw everything.

But then, something began to change.

The thorn was still there, but I began to remember that my life was not just about the thorn.

There was also the GOD who had carried me through it.

The GOD who heard me when I cried.

The GOD who stayed when I was weary.

The GOD who loved me when I had no strength left to give.

The GOD whose grace sustained me, even when I could not understand why the thorn remained.

And so, today, I thank YOU for YOUR grace that has carried me.

I thank YOU because, even when I was consumed by what I wanted YOU to remove, YOU were still sustaining me.

I still desire healing. I still ask YOU to take this thorn away. I still believe I can bring my pain honestly before YOU.

But, GOD, I do not want to become so consumed by what I am asking YOU to do that I forget what YOU have already done.

I do not want the pain to become the only story I remember.

Because there is another story.

The story of YOUR sustaining grace.

The story of YOUR unfailing love.

The story of YOUR presence in my pain.

None of this was YOUR fault. The brokenness of this fallen world is not a reflection of YOUR lack of love for me.

And yet, in the middle of all this brokenness, YOU ARE.

YOU ARE present.

YOU ARE faithful.

YOU ARE loving.

YOU ARE my GOD.

And even while I wait for the thorn to be removed, I will remember the grace that has carried me.

Thank YOU, GOD,THE ONE WHO LOVES ME THE MOST, MY DADDY; THE FOURTH MAN IN THE FIRE🙇‍♀️😇🙏

This girl you love; this girl you have carried, this girl after your own heart, your baby is grateful to you and for you always😇❤️❤️❤️

Amen.